Profiling

If you had to put, on one page, a description of exactly who you are, what would that page look like? Think of it as a scrapbook page, perhaps. You want to represent what you look like, how you feel about key subjects, your personality, what made you who you are, what you're looking for in a partner, and your hopes and dreams for life. That's a pretty tough assignment, don't you think?? Well, E-Harmony has it down to a science. There is not much room for individual taste nor creativity. Everyone has to fill in the same template -- you have only words and photos to represent yourself as someone worth getting to know.

The first thing you notice on a profile is the photograph. You can post anything you like, and as many as you like. You can also choose to not post a photo at all. I posted a photo of me taken on the deck of my home on Christmas morning (fairly close up) and another of me standing near the cruise ship on which Katie and I sailed to Mexico (distant full body). If a person doesn't like the way you look, that's as far as it goes. Can you say "Close Match?" So it's a pretty important piece of your post.

I've noticed a trend among the men I've found on E-Harmony. I would say that 75% of them post pictures (I've seen up to 8 on one profile) with some beloved "toy," such as a fancy car, ATV, a boat, a tent, a trailer, with a line of fish in hand, a deer head in the back of a truck. I guess this would appeal to some women, but I sure don't know any of them. Perhaps one shot of this sort would be ok, but 7 or 8? I have a couple of thoughts about this. 1) could your dedication to your toys and recreation be the reason you are still single? How many women of a certain age do you know that want to spend the last part of their lives huntin' and fishin' and being tossed around on an ATV? How many want to be a recreation widow? Not this woman. 2) what are you compensating for? Are you posting pictures of all your toys and hobbies because you feel like you don't have anything else to offer, such as the ability to communicate with a woman, a real job, willingness to invest time in something besides the pursuit of increased adrenalin and recreation? Are you hiding behind them?

Perhaps I am being a bit harsh. Perhaps I need to change my "parameters" in my profile. I've never been a camper, hunter, fisherwoman, and I don't really want to start that now. An occasional ride on a motorcyle, or a day spent fishing now and again would be lovely. Call me boring, but I am not interested in spending every single vacation and day off doing these things. Enough said about this.. I'm sure you get my point.

A profile is important. I'm really not a mean-spirited person, but some of these photos have made me laugh right out loud and holler for my kids to come see. For instance, one gentleman posted a photo that was obviously a studio shot. He was wearing a red button-down shirt, with a little scarf tied around his neck. He was holding a little Yorkshire terrier which was sporting an identical scarf. Are you serious??? I can see a woman doing this sort of thing (well, no I can't), but a man??? As you scan further down the profile, you see the standard question: The most influential person in your life has been....... This lovely man said DIANA ROSS! I nearly choked on the water I was drinking. I wondered if he accidentally posted on the wrong dating site.

As luck would have it, out of 100 possible matches, this man contacted me. We exchanged the standard list of questions. His replies only served to justify my impression of him. One of the questions I sent him was: What do you find attractive in a partner? The response was overwhelming.... "she must have a sense of personal style; she must have perfectly manicured hands and feet; she must have a beautiful smile, including straight teeth; she must be sweet, patient and kind." And the list went on for quite some time. What are you thinking, man? Good luck, buddy. This woman DOES NOT EXIST. At least not in Riverton. Click! Close Match.

I must admit that my judgment is not always correct. My relationship track record proves this. And I must eat some crow here. There was one profile I nearly deleted because of the photos. But, for some reason, I did not. This gentleman did contact me, and I decided to go ahead and pursue it. I met him last night for the first time, and what a lovely gentleman. I had a wonderful time, and this is one man that I hope will call me for a second date. And I think he just might. :o)

Some people call me "brave" for putting myself out there like this. You know what? They're right! This has been very scary for me. But, as they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You just never know what might come of it.......